I’m genderfluid, and with that, sometimes I feel like two genders simultaneously. I am sure that a lot of people don’t know how this feels. This is my attempt to explain it.
When I feel bigender, it’s like I’m that picture with the silhouette of two heads and the vase. When I think of or look at myself, it can be quite different. I don’t see myself differently every single time I think about myself, but my perception and expression can change based on things like my mood or environment that it wouldn’t change with otherwise. Sometimes, however, I feel and see both femininity and masculinity in myself simultaneously. Imagine an image like this one. First, figure out both of the ways you can look at the picture. Then, try to simultaneously see both aspects of the picture. That’s how being two genders at the exact same time feels.
By contrast, when I feel completely one gender, I act like that gender and see myself as that gender 100% of the time. I will act more homogeneously during the day in terms of things influenced by gender, as opposed to those traits changing based on something like the environment I’m in.
I know this is a complex topic, but hopefully this post will help you understand this better.
I’m Ari, and my pronouns are they/them. If you have any constructive criticism, suggestions, etc., I would love to read it in the comments section.