How to respond to people saying “there are only two genders”

Some a lot of closed-minded people on the internet and in person like to go around saying the false statement that there are supposedly only two genders. If you happen to be interacting with someone while they’re saying this, here’s more or less what you could say to refute them.

You can start off with remind them that gender and sex are quite different. If they refuse to accept this, you can tell them about how gender identity exists, and is not a new concept. If they agree, but say that gender and sex are the same, you could either compromise and conclude that it’s a difference in terminology, or you could show them examples of people using the terms to mean different things.

After that’s been established, you can prove the main statement that there are more than two genders, in a few ways. Firstly, you can say that because there are people that identify as non-binary, their existence disproves the person’s point that there are only binary genders. Secondly, you can talk about how physical sex is quite obviously not binary (tell them to Google “intersex”), and mention how if sex isn’t binary, it doesn’t make sense for gender to be binary. Thirdly, you can mention how there is no reason for a mental construct such as gender to be binary.

The person you’re talking to likely won’t accept a lot of these arguments, but if they do, you can take pride in the fact that you helped another person realize that non-binary genders exist. If they don’t, at least you know that you’re right and they’re just not accepting facts.

I’d love to hear anything you have to say about this post, its subject matter, or anything connected to genderfluidity or non-binary genders in the comments section. I’m Ari and my pronouns are they/them.


Are non-binary people trans?

This question seems to be answered quite differently depending on who you ask. However, my standpoint is that non-binary people are transgender.

If we look at the definition for “transgender,” it says a trans person is “a person whose sense of personal identity and gender does not correspond with their birth sex.” Non-binary people’s genders are obviously different than their birth sexes (unless you’re intersex and you consider that your gender).

Also, believing that you have to go from one binary gender to the other to be transgender seems like a form of gatekeeping. Gatekeeping is most certainly what you don’t want to be doing, as there are countless blog posts showing.

Judging by the fact that the definition doesn’t place this restriction of binary genders on being trans, one can tell that yes, non-binary people are transgender.

I would love to hear your comments, thoughts, experiences, suggestions, etc. in the comments section below. I’m Ari, they/them.

How genderfluid and bigender are different

Note: this is from the perspective of someone who identifies as genderfluid, and is completely subjective, as is anything trying to define identities.

This is actually going to be rather short, as this is a fairly simple difference.

Genderfluid people’s gender changes with time, no matter how fast or slow, and no matter what or how many genders it goes to.

Bigender people are two genders, and it may change with time.

Genderfluid and bigender can be very similar. The key distinctions are that genderfluid people’s gender is changing in all instances, and bigender people’s gender is two genders in all instances. (bigender people, please correct me if I’m wrong about this)

In my case, I’m genderfluid, but with that, I’m bigender at some times. For me, when I’m bigender, I feel male and female simultaneously. (There is really no way to explain how it feels.) People who identify as bigender can feel two genders simultaneously like that, or drift between the two, similarly to genderfluidity.

Hopefully, I explained this well. Leave any comments you might have in the comments section, including any corrections you may have. I’m Ari, they/them.

Gendered bathrooms

I personally never use public bathrooms unless I absolutely have to. I absolutely despise how filthy they are, and would rather hold it in than use one.

However, there are certainly a whole lot of people that have to go to the bathroom, and only have access to a public one. (Otherwise, they obviously wouldn’t exist.) And, not all of these people are cisgender! How shocking! In all seriousness, if you’re reading this blog, you certainly already know about the whole thing about trans people and bathrooms. However, I would like to take this opportunity to remind everybody that non-binary people go to the bathroom too.

As I mentioned in a previous post, I personally go between bigender and male as a genderfluid person, meaning I “lean male,” and as such, I am not too uncomfortable in being in a binary gendered bathroom. (In terms of the gender printed on the door. Many public bathrooms are inherently uncomfortable anyway.) However, the issue of having to fit oneself into male or female every time one wants to go to the bathroom is quite a big issue for a lot of non-binary people! The solution that I suggest every single time is to simply have gender-neutral bathrooms.

Gendered bathrooms don’t only affect trans and/or non-binary people, but they have other effects. Assuming that men and women need to be kept apart in order to presumably not be having sex with each other in a public bathroom or locker room (!) is quite homophobic, because it completely ignores that people of the same gender can do that with each other too. This obviously isn’t a very tangible effect, but it’s still bad.

In addition to this, I have yet to hear a good reason to separate genders in bathrooms! (Aside from urinals, which I have never understood the point of.) Overall, it seems very reasonable to conclude that gender-neutral bathrooms are the way to fix all of these issues, and the others that I didn’t mention, in the future.

I’d love to hear your thoughts, comments, suggestions, experiences, feedback, or constructive criticism in the comments. I’m Ari, they/them.

I swear I’m trying to keep some kind of posting schedule. (If you have a suggestion for a post, I’d love to hear it!)

All of this post except for me complaining about bathrooms’ lack of cleanliness also applies to locker rooms.

No, “he or she” is not valid

People apparently are getting into quite the debate over whether singular “they” is grammatically correct, despite the fact that oftentimes those against it use it regularly, and that it’s been part of the English language for millennia.

However, the debate over “they” vs. “he or she” has to also include non-binary people. Quite obviously, “he or she” just doesn’t include everybody! I am a strong believer in the power of language, and for that reason I think that this is important. Additionally, many non-binary people, myself included, use “they” as their pronoun. To say that it’s grammatically incorrect makes it impossible to refer to these people correctly.

Overall, not only is singular “they” valid and correct, but “he or she” is clearly invalid.

I apologize for not posting yesterday.

As always, I would love to hear anything you have to say relating to this or any topic connected to genderfluidity in the comments section. You can call me Ari and my pronouns are they/them.

Why genderfluid’s definition needs to include non-binary genders

It’s great to see genderfluid people represented and included in the media, online dictionaries, etc. However, an issue that I think people need to realize is that genderfluid people don’t only shift between female and male; we can also be other genders.

For example, in most instances, I feel what probably could be described as bigender, but sometimes I feel simply male. (I was AMAB.) I have only felt completely female on a few occasions. (The most notable of these was a couple years ago, when I felt quite female for a while, which led me to believe I was all-out MtF (male to female) trans, which turned out to not be right. Prior to that, I had felt 100% male. Afterwards, I slowly began realizing my gender identity as I know it now.)

I’m certainly not the only genderfluid person that is sometimes binary and sometimes non-binary. (or always non-binary.) If you search on Google, you can see other people who are like that posting online. And, if you read their posts, you’ll notice they’re usually by people confused by the popular, incorrect male-female definition of genderfluid. This is why we need a more inclusive definition of genderfluid.

As always, I would love to hear your constructive criticism, feedback, thoughts, and experiences in the comments section. You can call me Ari, and my pronouns are they/them.

So I’m a blogger now.

I’ve never been very good at introducing myself, but here goes.

My name is Ari. (That’s actually not my real name, but if I change my name, that’s probably what it’ll be.) I’m young enough to still be going through my education. As you can tell, I’m being pretty vague because I don’t want people tracing this blog back to me.

As you can see by the title of this blog, I identify as genderfluid. However, I’m not out to anybody yet. (I’m also bi, which my friends know about.) I started this blog as a way for me to share my thoughts and experiences about genderfluidity. Also, I wanted to get comfortable with being genderfluid by talking about it on here before I come out to my friends. (That last sentence somehow sounds a bit bad, but I can’t think of a better way to put it.)

I’m not sure how long I’ll do this blog for, or how often I’ll post, but hopefully I’ll be able to post fairly often for a while, especially considering that I’m apparently one of the only blogs about genderfluidity on the internet.

Peace out,

Ari (they/them)

P.S. Feel free to comment on this or any post, just please don’t be rude. I’ll try to respond to as many comments as I can.